Your Texas Rangers!

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The Texas Rangers have released there plans for 2008, and have been nice enough to provide us with a list of various promotional nights  to look forward to.. Some of the fan favorites.. $1 Hotdog night, Free admission for kids under 13, Dr Pepper Autograph Wednesday.. ect.. sounds pretty good right?? What are they forgetting to tell us??

For the third straight season.. they are RAISING ticket prices!! Now my number 1 question is why? We don’t have a winning team out on the field.. The Rangers have signed no free agents to get our “sports pants going crazy”.. What have the Rangers done to justify this? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! They are not trying to renovate the stadium.. they are not using this extra money to sign anyone.. Latest possible sign that is in the works.. is Jason Jennings… a right handed pitcher from the Astros who is coming off a season where he had elbow problems??

I can understand taking a chance on Eric Gagne.. great risk/great reward.. and we got him at the bare minimum.. Gagne was great prior to his two shoulder surgeries.. who the hell is Jason Jennings? Tom Hicks is not interested in winning, only making money.. that is only Obvious not only  here.. but in Liverpool as well.. Lets raise the ticket prices, give the fans ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in return.. and expect them to still come out.. Right.. Well Mr Hicks.. I along with several other fans not only here, but in Liverpool.. give you the one fingered salute!

Please do us all a favor and sell the team to Mark Cuban! Better yet.. sell the team to Liverdamage.. so he can fire John Daniels, and the rest of your staff.. LiverDamage’s first, and second executive decisions will be to bring in the great Slasc as the G.M., and bring in Mr. Boyd as a talent scout! Between the 3 of them.. they would have a better chance of making this team a winner, then you sir!

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18 Responses

  1. my first move as owner and president is to hire bill parcells!

  2. Instead of the tagline “You could use some baseball” we will change it to.. “You need some tuna in your dugout” 😉

  3. too bad tuna is already hired by the “rangers” of football the dolphins

  4. “You need some tuna in your dugout”

    no, i could use something else in my dugout…

  5. how about this for a catch phrase “would you like to see a champiship in our trophy case? too bad because tom hicks still owns the team”

  6. You know, I just caught your “Owner and President” comment LD.. Would that make you the Jerry Jones of the Rangers?? Would Ron “The Wash” Washington be your hand puppet and bitch?

  7. I never said GM! I hire people to do my evil bidding… here’s my staff:

    VP: Bill Parcells
    Overpaid secretary: Denise Milani
    GM: Doug Melvin (seriously)
    Head Scout: Jean Louise Finch
    Manager: Tony Sirico
    Hitting Coach: The frozen head of Ted Williams
    Pitching Coach: Shaq
    Head Trainer: Victor Conte
    Strength and Conditioning Coach: Brian McNamee

  8. Pitching Coach Shaq? ” Shaq.. ahhhhhh, Hes the greatest in the universe.. he’ll save every last one of us”!!!

    Do we have a position avaliable for Roger Clemens? Would hate to split him and Brian McNamee up.. thats a dynamic duo you know!!! 😉

  9. I’m thinking about demoting Tony Sirico to 3rd base coach so I can have Bob Knight as Manager… i’d love to see him in a sport where managers going insane is common practice!

  10. So I guess as Owner/President your declining to comment about your possible interest in Roger Clemens? How about Barry Bonds? Care to comment on that Mr Liverdamage?? Reports are coming out that you have been in contract talks with Mr. Bonds? What position are you hoping to fill with this signing?

  11. Well Jason, I am an Angel fan so watching the Rangers toil in the cellar doesn’t really bother me…

    Here’s a hint…Don’t let the owner change the name of the club.
    Like Moreno did to the angels, WTF the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim???? I hate that!
    If North Carolina ever gets a Pro Baseball team I’m jumping ship.

  12. Watching them go down the toilet doesnt bother me either.. I go to a few games a year.. when real teams are in town.. I.E. Your Angels, the Yankees, Cubs, and Red Soxs.. I follow a few other teams.. It just floors me that we have an owner that could give a damn less about putting a winning team out on the field.. If Tom Hicks ever sold the team.. I could possibly become a Rangers fan 🙂

  13. Question: what do these dedicated fans get when they go to see the Rangers play in person?

    Answer:
    A 40 mile drive to the ballpark.
    A ballpark in the heart of nowhere, without a bar or convenience store within walking distance.
    15$ parking.
    The thrill of “the place to be”… a park 97% empty.
    A historically bad franchise. (1 singular playoff win in 35 years)
    A 65% chance of witnessing an “L” in person.
    At least 10 Rangers players of minor league talent level.
    105 degree heat in a stadium that doesn’t even allow for a mild breeze.
    $3.50 bottles of water to keep from passing out.
    and lastly, a complementary 40 mile drive home.

    now, isn’t that worth the ticket price hike?

  14. All valid points.. you forgot the $7 flat beer thou!

  15. I stil miss seeing the Rangers play at the Ball Park. We can rarely even catch a game on TV hear.

  16. Hey Hicks,

    How’s your son doing in Liverpool? I heard he and his bogy guards was chased out of town last night by irate Liverpool fans who detes you.

    Care to comment before it hits the UK media?

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